Unfortunately, most people in America identify themselves with what they do for a living. When asked, “Who are you?”, the most common responses include, “I’m a secretary”, “plastic surgeon” or “fireman.” Americans tend to define themselves in the looking glass from the micro view of training, career and college degree.
Defining oneself by what one does is culturally good until for whatever reason the individual is no longer able to follow through with the “occupation” of choice. Insureds and claimants tell me they have lost the sense of who they are, feel vulnerable to others, and mourn their own loss of personal power to stand alone in the world. Disability is so much more than just physical or mental impairments – it’s often a loss of oneself in the midst of confusion.
<p class="just"Those who lack a support group often feel they are alone and helpless, particularly when a disability claim is involved. We are all aware of the fact that going to college is an investment in the future. It becomes a real problem though, if a career future is suddenly interrupted, leaving insureds and claimants without a sense of purpose and will to do something else. Every one who becomes disabled, regardless of how severe the impairment, tells me the same thing, "I'm going back to work."
The loss of personal power also negatively impacts one’s ability to make one’s own decisions, manage money, or even family matters such as disciplining children, or planning with a spouse. When all of these things are gone, it is devastating and takes a while to adjust to new thinking that re-defines our worth in new ways. In the meantime, depression/anxiety can take its toll in the midst of managing health issues, while suffering the illusion of “having lost it all.”
Some insureds are very open about their feelings while others internalize the hurt and disappointment of losing their careers. Seen as a loss of one’s life and self-respect, the status of disability is often seen as “gone forever”, something that must be mourned until future work status is once again put into play. Disability is a very difficult time for most people and the hardest part is overcoming the loss of one’s prepared livelihood in the midst of physical or mental disability.
While it is very hard for insureds to re-group and “become someone else”, the most successful insureds are those who eventually understand why they are feeling badly, and eventually come to recognize their talents and future potential. Although it isn’t easy to go in a different direction, many disabled individuals find their way to a quality of life they can enjoy in the future.
The key is to recognize one’s own worth and value as a person and move forward. As Dr. Phil has said many times, “One can’t change what one doesn’t acknowledge.” It’s hard, it’s difficult, but disability isn’t the end, and it can be a wonderful new beginning.
There is so much more to you than just what you did for a living. The challenge is finding out what that is.
